Comedy Routine – THE NEWS – (staff revenge)

OPENING SCENE:

(Squeaky talking and chirping noises in background)

Roger (radio producer) enters into broadcast area and seeks information from Paul (off-air presenter).

ROGER

What’s all that noise in the background?

PAUL

What noise?

ROGER

All that chirping noise . . . listen . . . there it goes again.

PAUL

Oh that’s the News Roger . . . the afternoon news.

ROGER

The News. Good heavens . . . why does it sound like little munchkins having a tea party . . . and . . . it’s not going to air . . . surely not?

PAUL

Oh it’s live alright. I’m not too keen on it myself . . . but you did give it the go ahead.

ROGER

When and why would I agree to have that chirping and whistling going to air instead of the normal News program with Linda and her team?

PAUL

That is Linda. You told her not to read the News on air ever again . . . and fired her!

ROGER

Yes . . . yes I remember now  . . . so why is she still here then . . . and reading the News in that peculiar way like that and disturbing my listeners . . . and advertising executives! Stop it immediately!

PAUL

Well she’s not reading the News on air today . . . she went and got some Helium, took a few deep breaths and is now reading the News on Helium instead.

ROGER

You’re ALL fired!

PAUL

Impossible me old gaffer!

ROGER

And why’s that!

PAUL

We all quit this morning to work for another station . . . tarah then! Come on Linda . . . let’s leave old grumpy here and start working for a real radio station.

(Motions to Linda to stop broadcasting and to leave the station)

THE END

(from my book “Short Comedy Routines for Novices” – available Amazon and Kindle)

Mind of a Spy

Excerpts from my Ruby Spy Novels

It all seems much easier now, to accept that soldiers always have to follow orders, regardless of what they think about them, or who gives them . . . or the consequences of their actions, or the long-term effect on their minds.

Spying is a different ‘game’. It is meant to stop wars and terrorism from happening in the first place . . . especially when diplomacy is in such disarray and lunatics are elected by the naive and apathetic populace. People get who they vote for – but then democracy is only useful for a small population, before imbalance and corruption sets in.

Spies gain information that can be used to counteract and destroy any thoughts of aggression from the perceived enemy, or to eliminate any threat that is likely to prevent a problem from occurring in the first place.

Spying is a game of fake news, propaganda and delusion. No one knows the truth anymore.

There is no “truth”- just the game that a few faceless people play, for their own inadequacies, using gullible and misguided people as their disposable pawns.

The common enemy now hails from those with power and greed, with some people assuming that they have a right to be treated better than others. So, they engage in skimming, side-swapping, terrorism and corruption, media manipulation, destruction . . . and killing.

After note: If we apply Ruby’s thoughts to Ukraine as an example. We know the top players from their latest “game” and what they do. The rest of the world suffers at the hands of just a few people . . . as they always have done.

Ruby Trilogy:

  • Spy Within a Ruby
  • Diamond for a Ruby
  • Ruby’s Covert Mission

All available on Amazon as a book or as a Kindle e-Book.